Wilda! Blog

I LOVE this video clip and the message it reinforces in my life.  My life is NOT about me, but my life and how I live it is up to me, always.  — Thank you Angus Nelson for this great reminder.

 

As a human resource professional, I have experienced lay-offs from both sides of the fence — delivering the message, doing my best to help others deal with the situation, being in a position with a lot of responsibility, but little power, and finally being laid off myself.  I have a great deal of empathy for those of you who are experiencing job loss, especially in a time when our country is in financial crisis.

 

For those of us who have been there, or are there now, a lot of emotion goes along with the loss of employment.  According to one study, “In terms of overall effect, depression was the most significant stress reaction, followed by mood swings and tenseness.  Women experienced more stress due to the layoff, tended to avoid other people and reported more tenseness in the body, more difficulty falling asleep, and dreams about the layoff.  Single people reported greater depression, tenseness in the body, and a tendency to avoid others.  Older individuals were likely to experience less stress than younger individuals.”₁ 

 

I don’t know about you, but I am “pickin’ up what they’re layin’ down”.  I experienced the depression, tension, soul searching, avoiding people and not being able to fall asleep.  For a while, I even felt as though I had lost my identity – no one was knocking at my door to get my advice on a business issue, no one was patting me on the back for a job well done, mid-day lunches were nonexistent, no socializing in the break room, no paycheck twice a month and no bonus at the end of the year.  And, despite my best efforts to find a job in my field, I didn’t. 

 

My answer was to redesign my career.  I could have gone to work at a local grocery store or in a retail environment, but by God, I didn’t struggle through the impact of a divorce, fulltime undergraduate work, a fulltime job, single parenting and therapy to land in a position where I would be under-employed and under-paid.  I figured I could do that all by myself – so I started my own business.  In fact, I started two … make that three – I’m the first of four kids, what can I say?  I have a need to be an over-achiever.

 

“We have two lives, the one we’re given and the other one we make.” – line from a C&W song.

 

What I have learned over the past few years, is the same thing that Angus Nelson is talking about in this video clip, “it’s not about me.”  Yet, there is another truth to this message.  While my life may not be about me, it is up to me – always.  There is no knight in shining armor to rescue me, and as much as I believe I am loved by friends, family and God, no one is going rain money down on me, or take care of me for the rest of my life.  That’s not their job.  I am the one responsible for everything I need to do to be the person I am meant to be in this world.   This is a universal truth.

 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” –  The Serenity Prayer

 

Here’s your homework … consider these your acts of courage:

 

·         Exercise and eat right. 

·         If you are drinking, stop or limit your alcohol intake.

·         Go to your nearest Unemployment Office, file and take advantage of EVERYTHING they have to offer.

·         If you need to, seek professional help – start by calling your former employer’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

·         Get out of the house at least once a day, take your laptop to an internet café and do your job searches in the presence of people – make eye contact and SMILE at a few of them.  If you don’t have a laptop, borrow one or use community resources.  The point is, make human contact outside your home at least once a day.  Take it from me, doing this really helps.

·         Go to Vista Prints (www.vistaprints.com) and take advantage of their free business card offer.  Fill in the blanks with all of your contact information, and make sure you have a professional email address to include – this is not the time to be greygoose or hotbabe@somewhere.com.

·         Find professional groups that interest you and go to the meetings.  Look in the paper, on Craig’s List, and other sites like www.meetup.com to see what is offered in your area.

·         Get LinkedIn and network with people from your past and any new contacts you make.  Ask those you know to connect you with someone they know that may be able to give you advice or link you with someone who can.  LinkedIn is great for asking questions and getting some fabulous answers — use the tool.  A friend and I did a Lesson on LinkedIn in July of this year.  Listen to it for the cost of your long distance phone charge by calling:  712-432-3903, Access Code:  1834537.  And, read LinkedIn guru, Guy Kawasaki’s archived blog article on “Ten Ways to Use LinkedIn” by going to:  http://blog.linkedin.com/2007/07/25/ten-ways-to-use/.  All of this is free of charge.

·         Check out the Bureau of Labor Statistics website and your local Chamber of Commerce to find out about the business reality in your geographic area … you may need to consider moving to find work in your field.

·         Consider retraining – check with your nearest community college or university for more information.

·         Invest in yourself and your future … find a career coach.   From what I’ve experienced, and am reading, it is taking up to twelve-months for people to find a new job – anything you can do to reduce this time and get out of the unemployment blues rut is worthwhile.

Your life and who you are is a gift to the world around you.  Please, do not allow yourself to become invisible.

1 – Source:  North Texas Technology Council 2003 Report on Survey of Individuals Affected by Layoff.

 

Written by Career Coach: Melissa Lyons, SPHR

Wilda! Women In Leadership Development Association™ Copyright 2008 © All Rights Reserved

www.wildamania.com